Posted 5 months, 2 weeks ago at 8:38 pm.
March 23rd was my handsome husband’s birthday-a big one, he didn’t want to have a big party but Marian wanted to throw him a surpise party very badly. It’s times like these that I really need to remember how little they really need to make them happy. We tried to plan a day and way to just get him to his parents house but then decided to just do it on his actual birthday. The kids just did a little decorating with crepe paper (they blocked the door with it), got him his favorite cake-yes it really is plain angel food cake. I picked Mari up from school so she’d be home before him and we hid behind the counter and yelled “surprise” when he walked in:) Everyone was happy, especially Marian when she knew he really was surprised!
Kelly’s parents watched the kids (again) on Friday night so we could go out and celebrate together and we had dinner & cake tonight at their house (pictures of that later).
Happy Birthday Love, I’m so grateful to God for your birth 40 years ago!
Posted 5 months, 2 weeks ago at 8:38 pm. 1 comment
Posted 5 months, 2 weeks ago at 8:16 pm.
This is probably going to be long but I hope you’ll find it worth the read …
So, I posted about Kelly’s trip but I wanted to tell you . . . the rest of the story. I have had in the past some pretty crappy sleep issues-not being able to fall asleep and then waking up and not being able to get back to sleep. It’s not too bad now but the simple fact is I’ve never been a good sleeper and I’m still not. My naturally poor sleep was worsened with Marian as a baby crying to hours in the middle of the night so I think I basically got really good at fighting off sleep (out of necessity). Then 2 more pregnancies & 2 more babies (Ezra actually slept through the night before Mari did!) and I was so used to fighting it, it was hard for me to sleep even when the opportunity was there. It was really ugly for awhile, but I’ll spare you the details. Over the past 2 years, I’ve weaned myself from the sleep meds except when I sleep away from home or Kelly is gone-big progress, trust me! And, while I don’t stress out at nighttime anymore, it’s not anything I look forward to-I view it as a rather necessary evil, and treat myself like a 2 year old with a bedtime routine:)
With all that said, Kelly being away is very stressful for me-not really because taking care of 3 small kids is a lot of work solo (I have SO much respect for single parents) but mainly because I get anxious about how I’ll sleep, how the kids will sleep, will I start having an anxiety attack, etc. My worst fear is that the weekend will lead to a spiral where I’m back on drugs & sleeping in the basement again. My mom has rescued me from too much fear the last few years by coming to stay with me but she wasn’t home from their snowbird trip yet. Now, I really want Kelly to go, he really deserves the rest & revival so I’m trying to not panic or get too anxious about this. I ask a couple friends if they’d be willing to stay the night with me, and I receive a challenge from my dear sister in Christ Anita. She spells out that Satan is robbing my joy and we, as children of God have no need to fear and in a very loving (& stern) way, tells me to pray over some scriptures and think about what I want my testimony to be after this weekend-that my girlfriends helped me or that I trusted God and rested in His peace.
I heard this same sort of advice from a non-Christian source so obviously God was trying to tell me something! After a couple days of serious meditation, God gave me the answer-my testimony was to be neither but to work on what He’s been working on me for months, to show love to my family through my actions & my attitudes-not just my words. I’ve been challenged to think about this through my study of John at BSF and our pastor has been working through 1 John and his last sermon was on lavishing love (sacrificial love, loving with your actions even when you don’t want to or it’s hard, love like Jesus gave as He died on the cross for me & you so we wouldn’t have to pay the penalty of our sin). How do I lavish love on my family over these 4 days? First to the kids by not losing my temper with them and by making the weekend fun & joyful-not just “getting through it”, second to Kelly by having a joyful voice when he calls to check in and to have him come home to a wife that hasn’t lost her mind:)
So, to the end, I decided to arm myself with Bible verses all over the house, to accept a bit of help (Friday night with Robyn), to have fun things planned, to do my BSF lesson every day even if I didn’t want to and to make a choice every moment to trust God with it all and not be anxious and know that He would provide everything I needed as He always promises.
The result-an amazing display of His goodness! I thought before it started that the best thing that could happen is that me & the kids would all sleep well and we’d have fun, how short-sighted we are! As you know from reading my prior posts, that definitely did not happen but something better did-I NEVER got anxious. I can’t even really explain it, I experienced peace beyond anything I imagined or hoped for. A favorite verse (amplified version):
And God’s peace shall be yours, that tranquil state of my soul assured of my salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God & being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort it is, that peace which trancends all understanding shall guard over your hearts & minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7
I really lived this verse! In fact, I called Robyn to tell her she didn’t have to come Friday night-her response, an enthusiastic “you had a good night?”. No, I had a horrible night but I survived it without any anxiety and know that I can rest & trust in His strength-nothing to do with mine!
So, not only was I able to lavish love on my family but He gave me a peace about sleep that I haven’t felt in a long time.
Posted 5 months, 2 weeks ago at 8:16 pm. Add a comment
Posted 5 months, 2 weeks ago at 7:37 pm.
Sorry, no pix today . . .
I had a glorious morning getting ready all by myself for church-seriously, thank you Dick & Sandy. I did a little more cleaning, my Bible Study & just enjoyed the quietness.
After church, we went to lunch and then back home for some March Madness, laundry & Wii. I can’t remember what we did for dinner?? Had some outdoor time, Ezra could play catch for hours! Then, off to bed after a movie & Bible story time.
And, Kelly came home around 9:00ish-it’s nice to have him home:)
Posted 5 months, 2 weeks ago at 7:37 pm. Add a comment
Posted 5 months, 2 weeks ago at 8:42 pm.
Day three I woke up TIRED! Tobin was up again at 11 & midnight, I was up from 3-4 (for no reason), Ezra (who never wakes up) was up at 5am because of a bad dream, and Tobin was up at 6am. God’s presence was amazing though (more on that later), and knowing that Kelly’s parents were going to take the kids at 2:30 for the night and bring them to church the next day gave me great strength! We went to an egg hunt with Heather & Noah, then to swimming lessons where I woke up in the water, then home again where Grandma & Grandpa were waiting for the kids-THANK YOU so much:) I had a shoot at 3:00 of sweet Allie, the first communion girl. Then I sat around for awhile, did some laundry, cleaned the laundry room, cleaned up around the house, talked to a friend who greatly encouraged me. It was soooo quiet and quite enjoyable.
waiting patiently for the egg hunt to begin . . .
score!
exploring their goodies . . .
Posted 5 months, 2 weeks ago at 8:42 pm. Add a comment
Posted 5 months, 2 weeks ago at 2:40 pm.
Day two was full of excitement. We made a somewhat panicked trip to the doctor after thinking Tobin was diabetic (I had serious reasons in addition to the fact that he was up 5 times before 2am the night before). He’s not, thank you Mary & Heather for praying me through that! Then off to the zoo with Heather & Noah . . .
isn’t this thing ugly, i can’t remember ever really seeing these guys before, they kind of look like overgrown possoms
After the zoo, I took Tobin to the chiropracter to see if she could cure his extreme clinginess and grumpies. And, btw, I’m perfectly aware that all his behavior can be racked up to a 3 year old but after getting woke up 5 times in 2 hours with Kelly out of town I was pretty much willing to try anything.
We picked up Mari at the bus stop and ended up playing for an hour at their house (no pictures as my camera battery died at the zoo).
And, I had every intention of making salmon for dinner but when we got home at 5:30, I decided spaghetti would be quicker and then after returning 6 phone calls, I went to get pizza!
And, that puts Day two in the books.
Posted 5 months, 2 weeks ago at 2:40 pm. 1 comment